I'm Hearin' What You Say
by Ciara2531
Summary: The full title of this is: & I'm Hearin' What You Say But I Just Can't Make A Sound. Donna centric drabble set post 2x05 Break Point. Shades of Donna/Harvey. This is a companion piece to my other drabble, Regrets & Recriminations but you don't have to read one to read the other.


**A/N: This is a companion piece to the drabble that I reposted earlier. I'm also posting these stories at the usa_suits community on LJ so you can look out for them there if FF goes wonky again. Enjoy!**

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Donna has always known that the foundation of her relationship with Harvey wasn't as solid, wasn't as foolproof, as they both liked to pretend it was. Sure, their working relationship was practically flawless and that was because they worked hard at it. They'd become experts at keeping just the right distance, never saying too much or stepping too far. There was a line burned between them and they might flirt with it, add some oxygen to the flames on occasion but they always danced back out of reach before the fire could catch up with them.

Of all the ways Donna had imagined that their relationship would combust, catch fire and burn until there were only ashes left, she had never imagined this. She'd always thought that it would be her choice to walk away. She'd never even fathomed that it would be his choice to let her.

A small voice in the back of her mind told her that wasn't entirely fair. The look on Harvey's face as he'd watched her leave left her in no doubt that he hadn't _chosen_ this. He didn't want her to go but he couldn't stop it happening – not without crossing the line and going up in flames himself. She knew better than most why his self-preservation instincts were so strong so she shouldn't be surprised.

Disappointed and maybe a little (a lot) hurt but not surprised. The more Harvey cared, the less likely he was to say it. He wasn't one for grand gestures; it was the little things that mattered to him, the things that were said without any words at all. That was why he'd waited for her at the elevator and why he'd had Ray waiting to take her home when she got downstairs.

He wanted her to know that he cared. What he didn't understand was that it wasn't enough. It didn't make things better because at the end of the day, he still took more than he gave. She gave it all willingly but that wasn't the point.

_You don't keep things from _me, he'd yelled. Donna pressed her lips together to stop them from trembling and stared out the window as the car inched through rush hour traffic. Harvey knew that she was loyal to him, loyal to a fault as it turned out. But he'd been asking for more. He'd been asking for total honesty and total trust because deep down he knew that he didn't already have it.

The part he was choosing to ignore was that he wouldn't be able to handle it if Donna was totally honest with him, if she trusted him with _everything. _ They'd come close to it once but he hadn't been ready and so far as Donna could see he still wasn't, might never be. The way he'd reacted when she'd said that maybe he shouldn't be her boss anymore, told her that. She'd been asking for more too and he was still incapable or unwilling to give it.

"Are you okay?" Ray asked, his voice breaking into her thoughts. Donna's eyes met his in the rearview mirror and she managed a jerky nod. Ray didn't look convinced but he turned his eyes back on the road and Donna leaned her head back against the car seat. She kept her eyes closed until the car pulled to a stop in front of her apartment and Ray came around back to open the door for her.

"Is there anything…?" Ray began, uncharacteristically hesitant given how long they'd both worked for Harvey.

Donna shook her head.

"Take care of him," she said.

Ray nodded. "I'll try," he said.

Donna summoned a weak, if genuine, smile and disappeared inside her apartment building. Her home was exactly as she'd left it this morning but she still felt like a stranger intruding on some one else's life. She set the box with her things from the office down in a corner to be dealt with later. Packing had been hard enough. She wasn't ready for the finality of _un-_packing.

She went through the motions of making herself a salad for dinner and taking a long hot shower. She didn't bother to put on the television or any music so the apartment was almost eerily quiet. Maybe that was why the sound of her cell phone ringing was like a jolt of electricity to the system.

She picked it up and saw his name flashing on the screen. Her finger hovered over the buttons, unsure of whether or not to accept the call. She could picture him easily; it was late but he'd still be at the office. His jacket would be off but his tie would still be perfectly knotted. He'd been listening to his father's record earlier, which meant that he'd have moved on to Charlie Parker by now. He'd be holding two fingers of single malt in a glass and he'd be waiting for her to answer so he could tell her – and convince himself - that somehow, this was going to be okay.

Donna closed her eyes as she pressed _Ignore_ on her phone and sent the call straight to voicemail.

A clean break was for the best, she told herself. It might hurt more now but the pain would fade.

Eventually.


End file.
